“Finger on your lips,” in class
“Silence please,” in
the library
“shhh….” Says a cute baby in the poster at the doctor’s
clinic
“Don’t talk when 2 adults are talking,” “चुप रहो ,” “keep
quiet”
These are both, memories and scars from our childhood. It’s
no surprise then that staying silent is the order, instruction, advice we continue
to give ourselves. Question being, about what do we stay silent and for how
long? Nirbhaya’s story answers that for you and for me.
Abuse isn’t new to us, neither are we to it. It has always
happened. But we now hear about it, report it, read it and think about it a
little more than we did earlier. It’s like everything else. Like corruption or
like cancer. It always existed, but today, we do something more about it. We
create awareness and rally for our right to vote for a just candidate. We
research, study and develop new medicines to contain, to fight, to face cancer.
Then why is Abuse any different? Why aren't we coming forth and talking about
it, sharing our stories and building a foundation so strong, that 5 years from
now, this piece of writing will sound like history.
"Nirbhaya", the play reiterates one big point for me, as a daughter,
sister, wife, mother, friend, woman, human – Communication. That staying silent
is no more an option. Whether you’re a victim, a witness or just someone who
heard about something, we’re all equally responsible for breaking the silence.
The onus is now on us!
If parents spoke to their children openly about ‘good touch’
and ‘bad touch’ and assured them that no matter what, amma, appa/mamma, papa/mom,dad
would be there for them – with all their love and support. That coming to them
with a problem, a complaint or tears would not be met with anger and punishment
or much worse, blame. Respect and fear, must never overlap. That grey area, of
fearing a discussion with the parent, is all it takes for us to lose ourselves
and carry the shame and pain within through our lives.
If only women knew that the courage to speak up against
domestic violence and abuse at the hands of their husband and husband’s family,
lies within them. If only she was told, that to stand up for herself, for her
rights and safety was of importance not just to her but to her parents and the
society. And if only the parents and society reciprocated that faith, we wouldn't have wives dying a death in more ways than one, every single day.
If the heart bled every time we experienced something like
this, we’d all be walking around with stained chests. Lets trade silence for
speaking up, suffering for healing. Talk about our scars from yesterday to save
someone’s today. Let us pick speaking-up over silence, healing over suffering,
acceptance and action over ignorance. Let’s care more for an image that our
soul deserves than one that the so-called society demands.
To every boy and girl who has seen, heard, experienced
abuse, to every man and woman who still carries that hurting child within, to
every parent who fears the worst, but won’t speak about it, to every single
person who knows that “these things happen,” here’s my plea – Be silent no
more! Be scared no more! Be where you've been, no more. Come forth and speak
up. Take it seriously enough to “do” something for the child, woman, man who
suffers at the hands of another child, woman, man. You are not alone. Reach out
to the fearless you! Reach out to a better world!Stay "निर्भय"!
8 comments:
Awesome! Awesome!
thanks so much @circus clown!
wow!! wonderfully written!! and I hope more and more people start thinking the same way..
thanks so much @ruchika gupta. All it takes is one person at a time. and soon we'll have everyone onboard!!
Wow that was a break of silence I must say! Yes we can bring a change together. We will! A very deep writeup it was!
It's sad that we choose not to confront people.... and even worse our demons.
@siji.. thanks for ur comment!! I'm sure if each of us thought positively and knew that one step at a time is all it takes, we'll go a long long way!!
@nikhilesh that's true. facing people can still be done in a moment of heightened feelings. but our demons, that takes a lot of acceptance to begin with. We just need to remind ourselves that we are not alone!!
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